Screw + Pump

#00116/Greeting Card - Blank
Price: $3.50

Josh Tager, noted New York City boulevardier, thinks this card is highly functional.  He writes:  "Is your boyfriend not putting out enough? Have you tried everything from sexy underwear to spiking his orange juice with some kind of aphrodisiac you got off the Web, and still no action? Stop pussyfooting around. Instead, boldly make your point with this card. Tape it someplace he’ll most likely see it, like on the medicine cabinet mirror, on in the refrigerator. And don’t forget to stuff one into his wallet, too."

We'd also like to point out that this laboriously handmade card features laboriously cut cutout thingies mounted on colored paper and then mounted on the damn card.  That's a lot of mounting!  Mounting, screwing and pumping!  Have you ever seen anything so positively filthy in your life?