Not very festive! Personally endorsed by Mister Crankypants! Suitable for framing! Wouldn’t it be great if Santa really did find out who was naughty or nice and then distributed the video games and bread machines accordingly?  Then, if you asked your brother, “So, Chett, what’d you get for Christmas?” and Chett said, “Um…nothing,”  you’d know that all those disturbing rumors about Chett are true!  So then your brother is arrested, and at his trial, the district attorney provides Santa’s affidavit to the effect that Chett has, in fact, been naughty, and, because of a Supreme Court decision, the constitution now recognizes Santa’s affidavits to be conclusive proof of guilt, so it’s off to the Big House for Ol’ Chett! Well, I guess that’s neither here nor there.  More to the point is that anyone can send out a Christmas card with an English bulldog in a Santa suit on the front and “Wishing You the Merriest Holiday Season and a Happy New Year” on the inside, but it takes someone with real panache to send a card from Assholeville! "Aye!  'Tis sad but true."