Create paranoia & uncertainty! Send something strange to someone you feel strangely about! Perfect for no occasion and therefore perfect for all occasions! You can really tell a lot about a person by their reactions to these cards.  Send Dick’s Cake for instance.  The recipient thinks, “I’m fat!” or, “I’m a dick!” or, “I’m a farm animal!” or, “I’m green!” The person who receives Martyr/Clown might worry that you think he has a martyr complex.  Or maybe he’ll think he’s perceived as a clown.  You just never know! In this wacky, card-saturated world in which we live, people just assume that the cards you choose must mean something, even if it’s something as banal as “I think flowers are pretty.” If someone sends you a card with a photograph of a horse on the front, then that person either likes horses or thinks you do.  Otherwise, why the hell buy the card?  If the card has a dumb joke about what a pain in the ass kids are, then someone on the sending or receiving end must have kids.  There’s a card for every situation, every taste, every sensibility.  You got something to say, there’s a card out there that will say it for you.  That’s what’s so great about the Inscrutable #1 Package.  None of these cards mean a single goddamn thing!!