Boxed Sets Description!

Magnificent Bitch - Five bitchy designs mean more variety for your bitchy buck! Your bitchy friends will cherish this thoughtful gift, until they find something wrong with it! Many aspects of bitchiness tastefully rendered! This set of peppery Roger That! cards is the perfect way to send hate mail!
Merry X-Mas - All cards are blank inside, so you get to write “Happy Holidays!” in your own crappy penmanship! Ah.  X-Mas.  Now, I’m not religious (oh, boy, am I ever not religious), but I do celebrate the living crap out of X-Mas.  Why?  Because I like buying presents for people.  I start my X-Mas shopping in January, and by the time December rolls around, I’ve got so many presents for so many people that I don’t have to do any X-Mas shopping, per se!  Imagine the tight-lipped smile of smug satisfaction as I listen to my chucklehead pals whine about the crowds, the horrible music, the lack of interesting merchandise, the pressure, and the general joylessness of their holiday shopping escapades. Now, other than the presents, there’s the gathering of the family, which I, unlike most people, apparently, actually enjoy.  Imagine the tight-lipped smile of smug satisfaction as I listen to my chucklehead pals whine about the family fights, the tension, mom’s bad food, dad’s crappy presents, and the baby’s runny bowels.  Yes.  X-Mas for me is all about sitting back, relaxing, and feeling superior to everyone else. Incidentally, since I don’t have to do any X-Mas shopping, I have plenty of time to make delightful, hand-crafted holiday cards.  However, since you’ll be too busy trying to find a scented candle for your sister-in-law, I smugly suggest this festive, colorful and very cheerful card collection by Roger That!
Inscrutable #1 Collection - Create paranoia & uncertainty! Send something strange to someone you feel strangely about! Perfect for no occasion and therefore perfect for all occasions! You can really tell a lot about a person by their reactions to these cards.  Send Dick’s Cake for instance.  The recipient thinks, “I’m fat!” or, “I’m a dick!” or, “I’m a farm animal!” or, “I’m green!” The person who receives Martyr/Clown might worry that you think he has a martyr complex.  Or maybe he’ll think he’s perceived as a clown.  You just never know! In this wacky, card-saturated world in which we live, people just assume that the cards you choose must mean something, even if it’s something as banal as “I think flowers are pretty.” If someone sends you a card with a photograph of a horse on the front, then that person either likes horses or thinks you do.  Otherwise, why the hell buy the card?  If the card has a dumb joke about what a pain in the ass kids are, then someone on the sending or receiving end must have kids.  There’s a card for every situation, every taste, every sensibility.  You got something to say, there’s a card out there that will say it for you.  That’s what’s so great about the Inscrutable #1 Package.  None of these cards mean a single goddamn thing!!
Hail Jesus! - Perfect for heretics, apostates and recusants! Your ticket to hell, where all the funsters are! Perfect for every occasion! If what I read in the paper is true, there are only 4 people left in the United States who aren’t tethered to one silly creed or another.  I’m one of the 4.  So at most, I guess I can expect to sell 3 of these packages.  Sigh.
Happy! Happy! Happy! - Upbeat! Non-confrontational! Safe for use with relatives or people you’re not sure about! Smiles a'plenty! Handy birthday and congratulations cards included! Everyone needs a few cards lying around the house for emergencies. How many times have you found yourself buying the damn birthday card on the way to the damn birthday party? How many times have you just wanted to send a cheerful note to someone and all you have to write on are those personalized notepads from your old job at the title company? Here’s a dozen nice, friendly, cheerful, positive, upbeat cards you can use when anything good happens in the lives of you or your friends!  As Major Tom liked to say, “I’m happy. Hope you’re happy, too.”
Glamorettes - All cards are glamorously small (about the size of an iPod) so you don’t have to think of a lot of glamorous stuff to say on the inside!  Just one or two glamorous words, some glamour-spit for the envelope, and a glamour-stamp! Harkens back to a more glamorous time! Here’s a nifty little collection that’s sure to please your most discriminating, persnickety friends. Who wouldn’t be proud to accept a dinner invitation with one of these colorful, evocative notecards?  Well, that’s a dumb question because who the hell sends out written acceptances to dinner invitations?  Well, maybe glamorous people do. When they’re not wearing gloves, smoking with cigarette holders, throwing their keys to the valet, playing Baccarat, speaking many different languages or doing any of the other things glamorous people are always doing.
Sparkly Skaters - Expensive-looking! Lots of sparkles and crap! Festive and happy! Does anyone roller-skate anymore?  I guess people roller-blade and kids have those creepy shoes that their kid-power can magically transform into in-line skates.  But does anyone actually slap those wheelie things onto their saddle shoes using a key and all that?  Probably not.  And then there are the kinds of skates these dolls are wearing – shoes with wheels attached to them.  Like ice skates, only less graceful.  Little foot cars.  Well, maybe roller-skating has lost its popularity, but sexy gals in tight sparkly outfits will never go out of style.
X-Mas Ambivalence - Not very festive! Personally endorsed by Mister Crankypants! Suitable for framing! Wouldn’t it be great if Santa really did find out who was naughty or nice and then distributed the video games and bread machines accordingly?  Then, if you asked your brother, “So, Chett, what’d you get for Christmas?” and Chett said, “Um…nothing,”  you’d know that all those disturbing rumors about Chett are true!  So then your brother is arrested, and at his trial, the district attorney provides Santa’s affidavit to the effect that Chett has, in fact, been naughty, and, because of a Supreme Court decision, the constitution now recognizes Santa’s affidavits to be conclusive proof of guilt, so it’s off to the Big House for Ol’ Chett! Well, I guess that’s neither here nor there.  More to the point is that anyone can send out a Christmas card with an English bulldog in a Santa suit on the front and “Wishing You the Merriest Holiday Season and a Happy New Year” on the inside, but it takes someone with real panache to send a card from Assholeville! "Aye!  'Tis sad but true."